Confessions of a Battered Mother: Bad Boss
Posted by April Butler on
Confessions of a Battered Mother: Bad Boss
May 2nd, 2025 – 11:38pm
I’m sitting on the couch in my living room, watching “Bully Boss? Six Steps to ‘Beat the Beast’” by Sklover Working Wisdom on YouTube, preparing for my Org Comm final project. I really enjoyed Leigh’s presentation on Bully Bosses, especially how it tied into Chapter 4’s topic on Work Culture, so I chose this subject with purpose.
But as I watched for research, I found myself dissociating—and that caught me by surprise. What I thought were distant memories began to resurface.
Once upon a time, I was a bad boss—and not in the good way.
Becoming the Boss of My Life
Lately, life has changed drastically. As a mother, my daughter is my top priority, and I adjust where necessary. Three years into recovery and freshly stable, I’ve had to make the executive decision to go full-time into entrepreneurship. Was this the plan? Absolutely not. Is it necessary? Yes.
This means I am now the Final Boss of my life—something I’ve prayed, hoped, and wished for. But not quite like this.
At first, I felt everything all at once: excitement for freedom, fear of failure, and a creeping sense of doom. I thought the fear came from all the previous times I had taken the leap and crashed. But it was deeper than that.
Right there, on my couch, I remembered the time I was made a boss—and became the bad boss.
A Moment of Accountability
Don’t worry—this isn’t me beating myself up. It’s me telling the truth. And if you were there during that time, you know it too.
I came across a 2019 article by Robert Half titled “12 Ways Bad Bosses Cause Good Employees to Leave.” It made me pause. I saw myself in a few of those examples. I remember taking too long to resolve issues, leaving others to carry the weight. I ignored toxicity in the workplace—including my own. I often assumed the worst, and in doing so, I brought down the energy of the entire office.
None of it was intentional, but it happened. And today, I’m acknowledging it out loud. Because I can’t fully step into the future I’m building without first owning the past I came from.
Who Was Really in Charge Back Then?
Looking back, I realize I wasn’t the boss—I was allowing other people and other things to run my life. I hadn’t yet stepped into the power I now know exists within me. At that time, I had surrendered my mind to codependency and people-pleasing, fearing I’d lose everything if I didn’t.
And I still lost it.
I was fired.
Not just because of others—but because I wasn’t ready to let go of the bosses I had handed my power to: toxic mindsets, habits, people… especially my abuser.
I’ve Known Bad Bosses—Because I’ve Survived Them
I’ve also worked under bad bosses. Bosses who treated me like I was invisible. Bosses who were condescending, who lied on me, who used my vulnerability against me. Bosses who never truly heard me.
If you’ve been there, you know how that kind of environment chips away at your confidence and your mental health.
Whether it’s intentional or not—harm is harm. And protecting ourselves from it is not just our right—it’s our responsibility.
Six Steps to Beat the Bully Boss (per Sklover):
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Acknowledge the problem—and know that it will end.
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Don’t engage in their games. Stay calm and collected.
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Keep private records of incidents, dates, times, and witnesses.
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Know the Employee Handbook—especially policies around conduct, harassment, retaliation, etc.
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List the damages—lost clients, high turnover, missed opportunities.
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Document and file a complaint—anonymously if needed.
Now I’m the Boss—And I Choose Differently
I may not clock in or out anymore, but this reflection was powerful. One day, I hope to employ others as my businesses grow. When that time comes, I’ll do better. I must do better.
I can’t change what happened, but I can absolutely change what I do going forward. Being the best boss tomorrow begins with being the best boss of my life today.
The Product of My Processing
While I was reflecting on all of this, I began working on an art piece with the affirmation:
“I am the architect of my reality.”
That message poured out of me and onto the canvas—and it stuck. I’m currently creating a companion product: an Intention Jar, using the same colors and affirmation. It’s a tangible reminder of the power we hold to rebuild from within.
This piece—and this truth—is for anyone who’s been silenced, sabotaged, or dismissed.
No matter your gender, background, or title—you deserve to feel safe, heard, and whole.
We are building something new now.
🎨 Upcoming Events: Where Creation Meets Transformation & ReWrite Your Story
Join me for two transformative events that blend creativity, healing, and empowerment:
1. Where Creation Meets Transformation
Art Showcase for Healing & Growth
📅 June 7th, 12:00 PM – 5:00 PM
📍 Lavender Hill Meetings & Events
2527 Woodson Rd, Overland, MO 63114
🎟️ Free & Open to the Public
Experience a creative space where survivors, visionaries, and healers share and transform pain into power through art.
2. ReWrite Your Story
Survivors Workshop & Masquerade Ball (Women Only)
📅 June 8th, 3:30 PM
📍 Bossed Beauty & Wellness
33 O'Fallon Square, O'Fallon, MO 63366
🎟️ Tickets: $45
An immersive afternoon of empowerment, self-expression, and storytelling for women ready to reclaim their voice, truth, and power.
Let your story be seen. Let your healing be felt.
Come as you are. Leave transformed.
#TransparencyHeals
For more information or to register, contact:
📧 truevisionlcw@gmail.com
📞 636-200-8428
📱 Facebook: True Vision Life Coaching & Workshops
📷 Instagram: @truevisionlcw
▶️ YouTube: @truevisionlcw
Together, we create. Together, we transform. Together, we rise.
With grace,
April Butler
Creative Trauma Release Coach
Founder, True Vision Life Coaching & Workshops
